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Pluto/Jupiter Conjunction 2020 Tag

Love’s Labour—Pluto/Jupiter and Lockdown

As the virus that knows no boundaries pervades the sanctuaries of our homes, and lodges in our dreams, we grieve those things we have cancelled, the celebrations that never took place, the hand we couldn’t hold at the end. We worry about our adult children who live in another city. We are consumed with concern about elderly parents.

We may feel inexplicably exhausted, drained by the grief that drags at our bones. The cupboards we planned to tidy, the books we intended to read, the routine that now seems rather pointless in this shapeless, formless state of suspension.

We’re all in this together. And we aren’t. The rich cocoon in comfort and the poor huddle together in refugee camps and council flats. Yet, we’re sharing our stories, swapping jokes and recipes to stave off loneliness, boredom and fear. Our boss, our co-worker and our oldest friend enter the messy ordinariness of our homes as the kitchen table becomes a place to work and a place to socialise. As Venus moves through the mercurial sign of Gemini we’re talking to our screens, caressing our devices, responding to the slightest ping or gentle vibration—often with more enthusiasm or presence than we give to the one we love.

At this time of enforced togetherness or the purgatory of physical separation, we may be learning a new style of relating as we begin to realise that for so many years, we have  concealed our vulnerability behind the cement wall of intractable beliefs about our partner. Many of us will return again and again to that stuck place, that sterile landscape littered with the bleached bones of broken promises, eroded by silence. For others, as physical distancing brings more emotional honesty, we realise that we’ve been alone and yet together for far too longwe’ve sublimated our desire, displaced our passion, jettisoned our joy.  Perhaps we recognise that we talk, but seldom listen, or feel heard. That we speak about empowerment and boundaries, but really don’t value ourselves enough to say No. During this time of enforced togetherness, some of us may be learning to assert ourselvesgiving way, leaning in.  Perhaps we’re profoundly grateful, as we celebrate and champion the love we have now rather than the love we haven’t had in the past.

Pluto (ruthless destruction, purging, elimination) and Jupiter (amplification) are in conjunction all through 2020 (the aspect perfected on April 4th and will do so twice more on June 29th and November 12th). These conjunctions contain an explosive energy that so often coincides with turning points in our human story—as all that is corrupt and rotten in governments, institutions, and  in the often flimsy structures of our own lives is revealed. Pluto/Jupiter conjunctions can be combustible when they brush against our birth charts or the chart of our relationship, dredging up buried truths, destroying what is, and inviting us to revision a new future. They may ignite tinder dry resentments. Set ablaze those innocent promises we made and forgot to keep.

In the war about who’s right and who’s wrong, how much you love me and who’s in charge, there’s no room for relationship. Says psychologist, Terry Real, “proving just how right you are can be a tough temptation to walk away from. But relationship grown-ups understand that being right is not the real point. Finding a solution is.”

In his book, The New Rules of Marriage, Real writes, “letting go of the need to be right is a core principle of relationship empowerment: learning to live a non-violent life. Non-violent between you and others. Non-violent between your ears. Scolding your partner as if you were his mother, passing judgement on him, humiliating him. These are all forms of psychological violence.”

Today, a hot-headed Sun conjoins Eris (goddess of strife) at 23° Aries and both are in a tense square to Pluto/Jupiter, auguring a time for radical honestyor more stringent control and power-play.

We may feel as though we are suspended, dissolving, putrefying, as we are locked within a sarcophagus of physical confinement, too close for comfort.

“We always marry someone with the purpose of finishing our childhood,” says psychologist Harville Hendrix, who suggests that we’re unconsciously drawn to people who will guarantee a re-enactment of the old, familiar relationship dynamics we grew up with. It is through our sentimentality, our innocence, our insistence in the “happily ever after” and the romantic dream of the relationship made in heaven, that we meet the dark challenges that a soul-ful union demands.  It is through the sojourns in hell, that we refine the prima materia, the raw stuff of life, and learn the phases of Love in all their complexity.

Power struggles in relationships have soared to new heights of psychological sophistication with easy access to often dubious “self-help” offerings on the internet. We can diagnose our partner as being a Narcissist or having signs of Asperger’s syndrome. We can play Victim, Rescuer or Persecutor in the tawdry soapie of our own lives. Labels, like headache pills, can be an easy way of dealing with the symptoms, but not the cause.

“Toxic relationships can sneak up on almost anyone. And controlling behaviour on the part of a partner knows no boundaries—people of any age, gender, sexual orientation, or socio economic status can be in controlling relationships, playing either role,” writes psychologist, Andrea Bonior in Psychology Today.

Toxic relationships don’t sneak up like thieves in the night, robbing us of our joy and our autonomy. We create them all by ourselves. Adult power struggles resemble “the terrible twos”. We use avoidance, manipulation, verbal and very often physical abuse to get our own way. We stamp our feet and sabotage moments of tenderness or connectedness. We withhold or demand sex or money. The old Berserker brain takes charge. Reason, compassion and wisdom fly from the bloody battle fields.

The anatomy of love and desire requires boundaries and structure, whether it’s the ritualised control and submission of bondage and sexual play or the intricate web of rules that we weave around ourselves when we become a couple.

What do we share and what do we keep private? Do we stay friends with our ex on Facebook? Does honesty always nurture trust and intimacy? How do we come together and stay present for one another amidst the distractions that trip-wire closeness? How do we soothe and repair those bruised silences that hang like dust motes above our sensitivities? Sex therapist, Esther Perel believes “relationship boundaries are not a topic that you negotiate only once. Your personal and couple-dynamic boundaries may change based on your relationship or your individual preferences at varying stages of your life. The most successful couples are agile and allow this to be in an open and ongoing discussion.”

At this time of physical distancing, our devices can offer connection yet Eric Pickersgill’s series of photographs, Removed, depict the phantom limb of our treasured devices that signal our busyness and unapproachability. This invisible addictive force splits our attention and takes us away from those who are physically present.

Connection is an energy. It manifests when we feel seen, heard, and validated. When we draw nourishment and strength from our relationship. When we feel like allies not foes. When we find our own wings to fly between the spaces and the coming together, even in captivity.

 

For a private astrology reading, please get in touch: ingrid@trueheartwork.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Couples in Confinement—Pluto/Saturn Conjunction 2020

 

It will take decades to fully grasp the significance of 2020 Saturn/Pluto conjunction in Capricorn.

Saturn rules boundaries, walls and barriers. When we talk of “cabin fever” or being “in the trenches” we are talking about a Saturn experience. Pluto represents power and powerlessness. We feel Pluto when we feel the visceral energy of survival, when our ancient reptile brain is activated. When we sense death, irrevocable endings, final outcomes.

Pluto is also connected with the ultimate power that our governments wield, with enormous wealth, and with plutocracy.

Lock down, self-isolation. This is the alchemical process of containment, symbolised by Saturn. As our lives become more constricted, as our personal choices and freedoms compress, the fissures in our relationships become more apparent.

As we face our deepest fears, we bump against the sharp edges of relating. Our history, our culture, our different parenting styles, our different ways of dealing with uncertainty, surface in captivity.

In our birth chart, Saturn represents our defences and our fear. Pluto’s placement comes with our ancient strategies for survival. Now, Pluto, Jupiter and Mars are in in Capricorn. Capricorn is synonymous with Father. As we place our trust in our leaders to protect us, as we grapple with the challenges of working from home, our worries about our ageing parents, as we feel the chill of the massive financial crash yet to come, we bring the unfinished business of our childhood into our relationships. The alembic of confinement may be a time of healing, repair and revival. In captivity, old wounds may be revisited, emotions may flow deep as a shared longing heals the scars on our hearts.

The term, “crisis” derives from the Greek, “krisis” which is translated as meaning decision, or judgement.

In this time of crisis, what decisions do we make? Does our own inner critic emerge to shame us for not doing enough, not being enough? Saturn/Pluto in Capricorn carry a serious, joyless kind of energy that may mirror the perfunctory peck on the cheek we give our partner as we bend towards our device. Saturn represents the brakes we use in our relationships, our strategies of avoidance and denial, the myriad ways we say no to intimacy, to vulnerability.

As we acknowledge our inner walls and labyrinths, we may also feel the need to place symbolic walls around the private spaces in our homes. Perhaps our bedrooms become the sanctuary where we pray, meditate, dance, take each other’s faces in our hands and gaze into one another’s eyes. As we dismantle the barriers that keep us from loving bravely, we may expose our vulnerabilities and our fear of being rejected, humiliated. We may have to show our partner what we need now to feel safe, to feel special. We may have to give ourselves permission to receive, to rest in one another’s arms.

The astrology reflects the heart-beat of the uni-verse, and although different places on earth are experiencing different time lines, different spikes on the graph, as Pluto (destruction, break down, death) and Jupiter (amplification) move into a close conjunction on April 4th and April 5th,  there is an echo of the crisis that began in 1939.

All through our human history, times of crisis have been times of evolutionary growth and change. As lockdowns intensify in countries all over the globe, we inhabit a world that will be irrevocably changed as a recession pares down economies. Saturn moved into the air element of Aquarius on March 21st swinging his scythe at our ideals, our narratives, the old stories that have threaded through our families for generations. Saturn times are times for rebuilding structures. Saturn moves confidently through Aquarius, turning his gaze towards grass roots movements, and the needs of the group. For those leaders who are putting business before the health of people, Saturn’s journey through Aquarius may have a volatile impact, as the group energy, or at worst, the hive mind, begins to demand new structures, develop innovation, more focus on human rights.

Saturn was last in Aquarius in 1992/1993. Saturn in Aquarius may force us off the road well-travelled into unknown territory that may take us way beyond the norm. The restrictions regarding daily life, travel, and social interactions are likely to intensify around March 31st when Mars conjoins Saturn at 0° Aquarius. Saturn Retrogrades on May 10th, and then returns to earthy Capricorn on July 2nd when he will remain until the decisive conjunction with Jupiter on December 19th, another huge collective and personal turning point. In Aquarius, Saturn may be innovative and experimental. We may begin to question the old ways and feel the urge to restructure old conceptions.

Planets cast a shadow, and we can feel this shadow at least six weeks before and after the tight conjunction. In the build-up, the heaviness of the collective fear and the sense of  oppression intensifies, there may be a sense of “the new normal” as we move along the outbreak cycle, and another peak as the Nodes move from Cancer/Capricorn to that powerful point of 29° Gemini/Sagittarius on June 5th. This is a process. It will be long and it will demand the best of us all. Despite what the politicians say, this will not be a quick fix. There are karmic chickens coming home to roost. We have an imperative to stop doing what we have been doing, to contain, to reflect upon our lives, to allow our souls to catch up with us. To begin again. Changed. Humbled. Different from before.

 

Astrology offers a fresh perspective on our daily lives. If you are curious about the hows and the whys, please get in touch: Ingrid@trueheartwork.com

I’m offering discounted sessions for all health workers, and for those who are have been affected by the lockdown financially.

 

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