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Should I stay or should I go? The one-hit wonder by punk rockers, The Clash, epitomises the encased in concrete immobility of making a debilitating difficult choice.

Choices crucify our energies, catapult us to the crossroads, and entomb us in that stuck place of indecision.  We can toss a coin, practice EFT, take a walk on the beach, and still the demons of doubt claw and gnaw and wake us in the darkness of the night.

 My Gemini husband and I (a vacillating Libran) both know the torment of indecision; two air-heads, with Mars in water signs. Mars, simplistically, suggests how we express our Masculine Core Essence. Mars is a planet of action, assertion, yang expression, which prefers definitive direction, a mission to accomplish!

Mars moves into the intuitive, water sign of Cancer on August 4th until September 18th. So if we look to the skies we garner the medicine of deeper awareness and authentic (real, truthful) connection with Who we are.

In our intimate relationships and close friendships, how often do we calcify in our assigned roles – the rigid controller, the diffuse compliant (and resentful or subversive) partner? How do our fears hamstring us? Fear of risk taking, fear of failing, fear of success?

The Sacred Masculine Essence is a samurai in times of crisis and of change. In Cancer, the assertive masculine energy of Mars fizzles and steams, yet also displays nurturing qualities of the sensitive, intuitive, open-hearted male.  So, for those of us with Mars in Pisces, Cancer, or Scorpio, taking action when confronted with challenging choices, may be a tipping point into a new awareness and self-empowerment.

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them,” is the much-quoted wisdom of Albert Einstein.

The power of this statement connected at a deeper level for me last night when I remembered a scene, near the denouement of the movie, Casablanca. Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) tells Rick (Humphrey Bogart) that she will never be able to leave him a second time, but begs that he help her husband, Lazlo to escape the Gestapo.   She loves her husband, and is committed to the struggle against the Nazis, but her passion for Rick is tearing her apart …  should she go with Laszlo or stay with Rick… she says she doesn’t know what’s right anymore.  She tearfully tells Rick, “You have to think for both of us.”

There are times in our intimate relationships where we need someone to be courageous enough to make that fearful decision, because we are worn out, weary, and we just don’t know what’s right any more. We ask that they step into their Mars energy, stride forth courageously, assertively. “Think for both of us.” And, as they carry blaze through the impasse, it is we who must then soften, to trust as a little child, that our Lover will lead us safely through the thicket of thorns.

There will come a time, in the dance of Intimacy, when it is we who are required to step into our masculine energy. To hold the trembling hand of our partner …  it is we that must find our way through the labyrinth, decisively and courageously.

This is the sacred dance of yin and yang, masculine and feminine energy, that is the lustrous pearl at the heart of a Spiritual Partnership.




Ingrid Hoffman

  • Amy Brunton

    August 4, 2011at12:16 pm Reply

    That was a wonderful read, many of us are really feeling the shifts and feeling dis-sheveled with ourselves our choices and your relations,
    There seems to be one way to return to the balance and harmony of our selves, and thats to take some deep breaths and allow all that is to be, we are where we need to be right now and thats in the “Moment we are in”
    Blessings Amy

  • lebam

    August 5, 2011at2:08 pm Reply

    Thank you Ingrid……Yes it is the ‘play’on the stage of life. Perhaps this ‘dance’ is a natural ‘flow’ in our consciousness. The metamorphosis that is required for our awakening. In the depths of our uncertainty hopes fears and longings ..amid the blood sweat and tears .. what we experience and what we ‘thrust’ on the object of our passion.. there is a ‘sweetness of suffering’ which we hold on to in our unconscious identity.. the fear of loss…. of loosing part of precious self… perhaps.

    Blessings and thank you again.

  • Dalene

    August 7, 2011at10:21 am Reply

    Oh Ingrid, this is such a heart-rending piece of writing. I have experienced Albert Einstein’s quote many times in my life. We certainly need a connect to a different level of consciousness sometimes. I hadn’t heard of the Clash’s song before but I’ve just listened to it on You Tube. For me, to get in touch with that place which may help me make a relationship decision I close my eyes and listen to Gabriell’s poignant song of the same title: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMff05YcJYc

    • Ingrid

      August 8, 2011at2:32 pm Reply

      Thank you for the song, Dalene, it is so poignant! I love what you say! Blessed Be!

  • Maeve Murran

    August 8, 2011at11:55 am Reply

    Wonderfully eloquent Ingrid – I had to read it over and over again – so I didn’t miss anything. Surrendering to the absolute essence of Love and Peace we hold within ourselves seems to be the only way we can hope to move through such hugely challenging times!!! I find trying to think and analyse our way out of things doesn’t seem to work anymore.

    • Ingrid

      August 8, 2011at2:31 pm Reply

      Thank you for your wisdom, Maeve. Namaste!

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